Padraic the Introvert

As someone who teeters dangerously on the border between extrovert and introvert herself, I have great empathy for those who tend to be called "shy." One of those people is my firstborn son, Padraic.

Padraic was just as bubbly and smiley a baby as his little brother Henry was at that age, but as he grew older his personality became more formed, and it was clear that he would be an introvert. Padraic has a few friends he loves to play with, and his brother is his favorite of the group, but otherwise he is more content to build with his blocks, Lincoln Logs, and K'Nex and then excitedly describe to me what machine he has built. His building skills and creativity far outweigh mine, and I am in awe of his perseverance in putting together such interesting creations.

While being an introvert is not a disease, there sure are times when life is hard on the shy. We just went through a big one with Padraic yesterday--his pre-K graduation. Last September we had to switch the boys to a day-care center that would offer busing to our local public school so the boys could get there and back while Ken and I are at work, and I do find myself wondering if Padraic would be less introverted had we been able to stay at the center where he'd been since he was 14-months-old. The center where everyone knew him and he knew everyone. But there's no way of knowing.

I agonized for weeks over whether to even have Padraic participate in graduation because he is so uncomfortable with public performances. We'd already weathered a couple holiday shows where he ran to me, sobbing, and clung to me during the whole ordeal rather than return to his friends and join in the singing. Then there was some progress at last year's holiday show where instead of running to me he chose to hide behind the rest of his class as if he yearned to be invisible.

We did decide to have him go through the pre-K graduation, at his teacher's suggestion that it would help him feel like he was part of something, and also so he wouldn't be left out during the weeks that his class practiced their songs and skits for the big day. But that doesn't mean my stomach didn't whirl and churn as the day approached. And that day was yesterday.

My sister drove out to attend the ceremony, which Ken was unable to attend due to the weird timing--1pm on a workday afternoon. When we got there and received our programs, we realized this was gonna be a long ceremony, and I got more nervous, wondering if Padraic could get through almost 45mins of sitting in front of an audience full of strangers. As it turned out, he made it through, though his teacher reported to me that he was trembling. (Did someone just stab me in the heart?)

The program quickly got started with some songs, which Padraic stood up for but did not even pretend to sing along with. Then they passed a microphone around the group of 28 kids for them to say what they wanted to be when they grew up, and when it was his turn he quickly handed the mike to the next kid in line, without a single peep. None of the other kids even flinched as they proudly stood up and proclaimed that they wanted to be a football player, cheerleader, princess, or even a meteorologist when they grew up.

Soon it was time for each child to come up to the front of the group and receive his or her diploma from the teacher. The teachers did a really great job of telling a little bit about each child as he/she made the journey forward to get the diploma. Some were "most likely to be a CEO" or "most likely to give you a hug," and with Padraic coming up dead last, I was worried that his teacher would say something about him being shy. But she didn't tack that label on him at all. She deemed Padraic "most likely to be a famous inventor." I started to cry a little. But then I noticed that, unlike all the kids before him, Padraic had not left his seat to claim his diploma. One of the teachers went to get him, and he grudgingly moped his way up to the teacher who handed him his diploma. When the whole audience, who'd been silent during the lull of cajoling Padraic out of his chair, erupted into applause, I was a blurry-eyed mommy indeed.

But we both made it through the experience, and I am proud of Padraic for the progress he has made. He may not choose to participate fully in events that put him in the spotlight, but he suffered it gracefully and maturely. His favorite part of the whole event--even including the cake and water ice--was handing out bouquets of flowers to his two current teachers and one former teacher. I almost couldn't keep up with him as he barreled through the crowd of so many parents and other guests, looking for his teachers so he could hand them their flowers and thank them for being such great teachers.

I am proud of my little introvert for sticking to his guns when he doesn't want to speak up in front of a crowd. And I'm super proud of him for thinking more of others than of himself. Although he was the only introvert in that crowd of 28 kids, I know there are others out there. If you have such a child or encounter one, please remember to nurture them and appreciate who they are. These quiet, thoughtful kids are capable of some pretty awesome things.

Love you, Padraic!