My dogs' inner monologues

For better or worse, even when I am home from work I am never alone. We have two beagles, Bailey and Tully.

Bailey is a sweet girl who came to us in June 2002 via a short stint as a Philly firehouse dog after being a stray whose family could not be found. The firefighter who took her in tried very hard, but given her disposition back then I have a feeling her family did not WANT to be found. She was roughly 9mos old, in heat, and very, very active. The vet pegged her b'day as roughly September 2001, and so we choose to celebrate it on September 11 to honor her time among firefighters and to bring a small bit of joy to an otherwise ominous anniversary day.

Tully we adopted in March 2006 from the beagle rescue that we used to volunteer and foster dogs for (www.brewbeagles.org). We thought Bailey could use a buddy since before we had kids she was very used to having a second beagle around to play with, even if who that actual beagle was changed sometimes week to week. Tully was born at roughly the same time Padraic was in January 2005. We hope that causes them to bond some day so Tully will leave us alone. LOL.

Anyway, it's a joy to have dogs, sure, but the sure can be a pain in the ass, too. Here, for example, is what I am assuming their inner monologues to be today (and most days):

Bailey: You know what? I think I'd really like to be outside. [Goes to Mommy, whines, paws, and looks generally about to burst at the seams with pee.]

[Mommy gets up, goes to back slider door, and opens it. Bailey runs out. Tully remains on couch or floor in living room. Mommy closes door and heads back to couch. Sits down.]

Tully: You know what? I think I'd really like to be outside with Bailey. [Heads to back door and starts scratching at it, making ominous signs of possibly peeing on it if it is not opened quickly.]

[Mommy sighs, gets up, goes to back slider door, and opens it. Tully runs out. Mommy shuts door and sits back down on couch.]

[Eight seconds elapse.]

Bailey (still outside): You know what? I've been outside now for almost 15 seconds. I think I'd really like to see what's going on inside. [Goes to back door and barks. Loudly. And insistently.]

[Mommy gets up off couch and lets Bailey back in. Checks Tully's location. He is happily sniffing a part of the yard nowhere near the back door. Closes door and goes back to sit on couch.]

Tully (still outside): Hey, where's Bailey? She must be inside, and that makes me want to be inside!

[Tully runs to back door and leaps and barks at it until Mommy, whose butt has just hit the couch cushion, lurches back up off the couch and goes to the back door to let Tully in. Tully comes racing in, and meanwhile...]

Bailey: Hey, Tully is coming inside, but you know what? It'd be totally rad to be outside!

[Bailey runs out the door that has been opened for Tully to enter. Mommy closes the door, sits back on the couch, and Tully settles on the floor.]

Tully: Hey, where's Bailey? Dude! She is outside!.....

End of play and end of Mommy's patience. You can see how this gets to be a loooong day. You're probably wondering why we don't have a doggie door. Well, here are a few reasons:
(1) It's not safe for dogs to be left unsupervised in their yard so we don't really want them choosing to leave the house on their own.
(2) Since we have only a slider door onto our deck for egress to the backyard, mounting a doggie door within it would lessen who secure our house is to potential burglars.
(3) Unless we would get the kind of doggie door that comes with electronic collars so it only opens for our dogs who'd be wearing same, all sorts of critters could join us in the house.
(4) The kids could get out!

So I just suck it up and keep opening and closing the door for these canine crazies. Ken is less of a sucker than I am, and he'll flat out refuse to let them out/in a lot more often than I refuse. And I'm sure they take advantage of me for it. Kinda like kids once they learn your weaknesses.