Take your family with you when you can!
I'll be the first to admit that this is seldom possible for me. We took Padraic with us when he was 7mos old and I had a conference in Minneapolis, but only because my SIL and BIL live out there. We stayed at the conference hotel, and Ken and Padraic hung out with my SIL at her house as much as possible while I was working. It turned out to be a nice trip. My MIL got the plane tickets for Ken and Padraic (yes, I always got him a seat of his own, even when he was young enough to be a lap infant), and my flight and the hotel were completely covered by my employer. So our only expenses were food and the rental car. Not too shabby.
We're once again combining family fun and a business trip of mine this upcoming weekend. I have to go to DC, which is only a 2hr drive from our home, and as luck would have it, our hotel is insanely closes to the National Zoo. As in "You're an idiot if you don't take advantage of how close this hotel is to the zoo." Which is what I said to mysellf when booking the travel and accomodations for the trip.
If everyone stays healthy (Henry had a fever yesterday and is not quite himself today), we're driving down tomorrow midmorning so we arrive around lunchtime. We'll grab a bite to eat (I already know there is a McD's between our hotel and the zoo--Padraic loves McD's and gets to eat there about 3 times/year when we're doing something special like this) and then hit the zoo after ditching the truck and our belongings at the hotel. We'll stay there for as long as the kids hold out. And us, too, since the National Zoo is, well, shall we politely say, hilly?
We'll bring our own drinks and a few snacks, but we'll willingly splurge on something like ice cream or another treat while we're hoofing it around. After all, that's what family fun time is about. A bit of a splurge. This trip is pretty low-cost, too, what with the hotel room being again taken care of by my employer, our gas for getting down there being reimbursed since, hey, I had to get down there somehow, and the zoo being free admission.
After (or maybe at?) the zoo we'll have some dinner--possibly with some relatives of mine who live in nearby Fairfax--and then we'll start the interesting task of getting two kids with different bedtimes to fall asleep in the same hotel room. Ha. My MIL recommended taking the kids to the pool before bed to wear them out, but the hotel has an outdoor pool that is closed for the season. So scrap that. Maybe we can put the kids on the treadmills in the fitness center? Ha, just kidding.
I'm glad we'll be able to work some time into my busy travel schedule to expose the boys to something they might not otherwise get to see for a little while because, while DC is not far from our home in the grand scheme of things, life hurtles by so quickly that we don't always take advantage of the great attractions that are within a day's drive of us. And I'm racking up some decent hotel points at a couple national chains by doing all this traveling for work. Trust me when I say that I am squirreling both them and my frequent flyer miles away for a nice family vacation. I'm aiming for probably the summer before Padraic starts kindergarten, at which point we should be able to do a nice 4-night (or so) stay at a hotel in the city of our choosing, without dropping a dime on accomodations or travel. The biggest problem will be deciding where to go! And what to eat when we get there. Yum!
So the next time work sends you off to God-knows-where, take a minute to consider whether some or all of your family members could join you for part or all of your trip. It can make traveling more enjoyable for you, and it can give your loved ones an opportunity to experience a new town on the (relatively) cheap. Happy travels!
10.10.2008
10.07.2008
Tip #3: This one's for the traveling mommies
I used to travel once or twice a year for work for about 4-7 days at a time. Not so bad in the grand scheme of a 52-week, 365.25-day year. But my job has changed over time, and now I travel to conferences about 6-8 times per year for 4-6 days at a time, and then I do a bunch of little one- and two-day trips sprinkled throughout the intervening weeks. This tends to wear on this working mommy, her little ones, and her hubby.
One of the things that saddens me most about being away is missing the bedtime routine. Yes, when I'm at home I often think it's a pain, but when I'm away on my own I suddenly become sentimental about it. I realized rather quickly on my trips that logistically there was no way I could help with bathtime while I was sitting in a hotel hundreds or thousands of miles away, so that was out. I couldn't do the changing of the boys into their jammies or the tucking in. Sigh. So those tasks were out. But wait! What I could do was read them a bedtime story! I mean, what are all those minutes on my cell phone for, anyway, if not to connect me to the people I love?
After this realization, the next time I had a business trip I snagged 2-3 slim children's books that my older son was known to enjoy, and I tucked them into my suitcase. That first night I was away, I called around bedtime (this can be challenging if you are in another time zone, but if you aren't available at the real bedtime, hey, you can always just read a story by phone during another part of the day) and read one of the stories to him (his baby brother was already in bed). Now, admittedly, he has not always wanted me to read him a bedtime story when I call, but it's the attempt that makes me feel better. While I'd love for him to let me read to him each and every time, knowing that I tried to be part of bedtime assuages a part of the guilt that I carry with me whenever I leave the house. And it lets me know that he's OK without Mommy, at least for a little while.
If your little one might enjoy hearing your voice reading a favorite tale while you are physically unable to participate in the bedtime rituals, you can either handcarry the actual book with you (this works even better if you have more than one copy so the little one and Daddy or another caregiver can look at their copy while you read from yours) or type the story into a Word document before your trip and read it to your cherished one from the glowing screen of your laptop. Not as nice for you as if you had a real book in your hands, but hey, you're a grownup and can handle reading a story without pictures. ;)
Next time you have to be away from your child(ren), consider giving this concept a try. You might find that when sharing a little piece of your child's day through the magic of technology, that hotel room you're staying in doesn't feel quite as far from home after all.
One of the things that saddens me most about being away is missing the bedtime routine. Yes, when I'm at home I often think it's a pain, but when I'm away on my own I suddenly become sentimental about it. I realized rather quickly on my trips that logistically there was no way I could help with bathtime while I was sitting in a hotel hundreds or thousands of miles away, so that was out. I couldn't do the changing of the boys into their jammies or the tucking in. Sigh. So those tasks were out. But wait! What I could do was read them a bedtime story! I mean, what are all those minutes on my cell phone for, anyway, if not to connect me to the people I love?
After this realization, the next time I had a business trip I snagged 2-3 slim children's books that my older son was known to enjoy, and I tucked them into my suitcase. That first night I was away, I called around bedtime (this can be challenging if you are in another time zone, but if you aren't available at the real bedtime, hey, you can always just read a story by phone during another part of the day) and read one of the stories to him (his baby brother was already in bed). Now, admittedly, he has not always wanted me to read him a bedtime story when I call, but it's the attempt that makes me feel better. While I'd love for him to let me read to him each and every time, knowing that I tried to be part of bedtime assuages a part of the guilt that I carry with me whenever I leave the house. And it lets me know that he's OK without Mommy, at least for a little while.
If your little one might enjoy hearing your voice reading a favorite tale while you are physically unable to participate in the bedtime rituals, you can either handcarry the actual book with you (this works even better if you have more than one copy so the little one and Daddy or another caregiver can look at their copy while you read from yours) or type the story into a Word document before your trip and read it to your cherished one from the glowing screen of your laptop. Not as nice for you as if you had a real book in your hands, but hey, you're a grownup and can handle reading a story without pictures. ;)
Next time you have to be away from your child(ren), consider giving this concept a try. You might find that when sharing a little piece of your child's day through the magic of technology, that hotel room you're staying in doesn't feel quite as far from home after all.
Tip #2 for working moms
Before I start tip #2 for working moms, let me be clear: These are going to be suggestions to do fairly obvious things. But when you're really sleep deprived and are juggling two full-time jobs--parenting and earning a paycheck--the obvious can rush right past you without you noticing more than a rush of wind.
If you have an infant, you can try putting him or her into tomorrow's clothes tonight so you just have to change a dipe in the morning, not start from scratch with a complete clothing change. If, in the worst-case scenario, there has been a diaper leakage or blowout, you do have to start from scratch. But if there hasn't been, you just saved yourself a few minutes, and your bambino is still comfy in his or her already-warmed outfit.
I've heard of people trying this with older children, and if it works, good for them. I just think babies are ideal candidates since they don't look like a slouch lying around all day in a footie sleeper that's equally comfortable to sleep in at night. I'd be hesitant to put my almost-4-year-old son into his daytime clothes at night because jeans or slacks and a t-shirt are not totally snooze-inducing. I don't wanna make one of my kids uncomfortable just to shave a little time and stress off our nutso mornings. Which, by the way, start at 5am. And that should be illegal.
If you have an infant, you can try putting him or her into tomorrow's clothes tonight so you just have to change a dipe in the morning, not start from scratch with a complete clothing change. If, in the worst-case scenario, there has been a diaper leakage or blowout, you do have to start from scratch. But if there hasn't been, you just saved yourself a few minutes, and your bambino is still comfy in his or her already-warmed outfit.
I've heard of people trying this with older children, and if it works, good for them. I just think babies are ideal candidates since they don't look like a slouch lying around all day in a footie sleeper that's equally comfortable to sleep in at night. I'd be hesitant to put my almost-4-year-old son into his daytime clothes at night because jeans or slacks and a t-shirt are not totally snooze-inducing. I don't wanna make one of my kids uncomfortable just to shave a little time and stress off our nutso mornings. Which, by the way, start at 5am. And that should be illegal.
10.06.2008
Tip #1 for working mothers (and mothers-to-be)
OK, when I started this blog I did mean to offer up some tips to other working moms, based on my experiences (note I didn't say "successes") as a full-time working/ part-time business-traveling mom. Here is the number one tip I can offer to you:
When someone suggests you stock up on sleep either before baby comes or while the grandparents are borrowing your child, smile and nod. Then move on because there is no physical way to stock up on sleep. You could sleep from now until next Thursday, and then your child could keep you up all night for exactly one night, and you'd still feel like crap and like you hadn't slept in a year.
So here's what you do instead: Stock up on paid time off so you can call in "sick" one day when your child has day care, and then you can crawl your tired behind back into bed and get some uninterrupted sleep. Oh, don't forget to keep your cell phone nearby for emergencies but to turn off the ringer on your home phone (assuming that yours is like my household and many others in that if the landline rings, you automatically know it's someone who doesn't know you).
For those of you who crave time with your day-care bound child(ren) more than you crave sleep (God bless you!) the same "sick" day can instead be used for a day full of time enjoying your children. I have done this in the past, too, and it can be a lot of fun. Or it can be really exhausting, leading me to wish I had enacted part A of this tip instead.
Happy working/parenting!
When someone suggests you stock up on sleep either before baby comes or while the grandparents are borrowing your child, smile and nod. Then move on because there is no physical way to stock up on sleep. You could sleep from now until next Thursday, and then your child could keep you up all night for exactly one night, and you'd still feel like crap and like you hadn't slept in a year.
So here's what you do instead: Stock up on paid time off so you can call in "sick" one day when your child has day care, and then you can crawl your tired behind back into bed and get some uninterrupted sleep. Oh, don't forget to keep your cell phone nearby for emergencies but to turn off the ringer on your home phone (assuming that yours is like my household and many others in that if the landline rings, you automatically know it's someone who doesn't know you).
For those of you who crave time with your day-care bound child(ren) more than you crave sleep (God bless you!) the same "sick" day can instead be used for a day full of time enjoying your children. I have done this in the past, too, and it can be a lot of fun. Or it can be really exhausting, leading me to wish I had enacted part A of this tip instead.
Happy working/parenting!
A last goodbye
Dear all, my friend's niece Peyton will be buried today, and while I believe that the services will be some consolation to her parents and other loved ones, it's sure to be a difficult day as well. If you are so inclined, please pause for a moment to think of them and wish for them the strength that they will need to get through this day and the many long days to follow now that they are without Peyton. Thank you.
10.03.2008
The frivelous post
I need to post about something fairly meaningless today. So here goes....
Over the past 2-3 years I have noticed a disturbing trend in my neighborhood: People are full-on decorating their houses for Halloween! Now don't get me wrong, I love trick-or-treating and all that jazz, but 3 immediate neighbors of mine have gone through the trouble of lining their homes' profiles with orange lights and then putting giant inflatables on their front lawns. The inflatables I can wrap my mind around pretty well, but lights, people?! Lights?! For Halloween?! Am I making my disbelief clear?
How do these people find the time and inclination to put this much effort into what is a fun, but minor, holiday? And yes, what ticks me off the most is that it makes my house look like a dark piece of crap. The only Halloween decorations we have up so far are some real-life cobwebs in the shrubs out front. Thank goodness for Mother Nature or we'd fall even further behind the Joneses.
Gotta go. I'm off to find some yard decorations for Columbus Day. Ha.
Over the past 2-3 years I have noticed a disturbing trend in my neighborhood: People are full-on decorating their houses for Halloween! Now don't get me wrong, I love trick-or-treating and all that jazz, but 3 immediate neighbors of mine have gone through the trouble of lining their homes' profiles with orange lights and then putting giant inflatables on their front lawns. The inflatables I can wrap my mind around pretty well, but lights, people?! Lights?! For Halloween?! Am I making my disbelief clear?
How do these people find the time and inclination to put this much effort into what is a fun, but minor, holiday? And yes, what ticks me off the most is that it makes my house look like a dark piece of crap. The only Halloween decorations we have up so far are some real-life cobwebs in the shrubs out front. Thank goodness for Mother Nature or we'd fall even further behind the Joneses.
Gotta go. I'm off to find some yard decorations for Columbus Day. Ha.
A million tears
I cannot sleep tonight. My two boys are tucked into their beds...OK, well, Padraic is tucked into my bed, but regardless, they are here, they are safe, they are sleeping. But my friend Kate's family is in turmoil tonight because they just lost her sister's not-quite-4-week-old daughter, Peyton, to leukemia. It feels so selfish that it's hitting me so hard. I am trying to mentally sort out whether I am feeling all this pain for their sakes, or for mine. I think it's impossible to separate the two.
There is pain because an innocent child has died. There is pain because I know her parents must be going through hell. There is pain because I worry that I could lose one of my children simply by a bad twist of fate. And that is the selfish part. That I am thinking about my own situation as a mother and how I would handle such overwhelming grief. I don't know that I could, to be honest. I pray for them that they have more strength than I think I would have.
There is anger because life shouldn't be this way. I know God has a plan for us all and that we aren't supposed to understand every nuance of life, but I am having trouble digesting the idea that a child could come into this world, suffer from a medical condition and its attendant treatments from the first moments, and then die so young. I have a brain that thrives on logic, and it is asking, What was the point? Why make a baby and so many other people suffer like this? Why? What did it accomplish, other than extreme sadness, a permanent grief?
There is relief that the physical suffering of a little baby is over, although I'd prayed with all my might that her suffering would end with a cure, not her death.
And so, I can't sleep.
There is pain because an innocent child has died. There is pain because I know her parents must be going through hell. There is pain because I worry that I could lose one of my children simply by a bad twist of fate. And that is the selfish part. That I am thinking about my own situation as a mother and how I would handle such overwhelming grief. I don't know that I could, to be honest. I pray for them that they have more strength than I think I would have.
There is anger because life shouldn't be this way. I know God has a plan for us all and that we aren't supposed to understand every nuance of life, but I am having trouble digesting the idea that a child could come into this world, suffer from a medical condition and its attendant treatments from the first moments, and then die so young. I have a brain that thrives on logic, and it is asking, What was the point? Why make a baby and so many other people suffer like this? Why? What did it accomplish, other than extreme sadness, a permanent grief?
There is relief that the physical suffering of a little baby is over, although I'd prayed with all my might that her suffering would end with a cure, not her death.
And so, I can't sleep.
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