Making memories

When the Phillies won Game 5 on Wednesday night to take the title of World Champions, our son Padraic was up watching the game. He was excited that they won, but I could tell he didn't understand the magnitude of the win. Then they brought out the trophy, and he turned to me in awe and gasped, "Mom, the Phillies won the Piston Cup!" Hey, buddy, close enough. After all, to the under 5 crowd, the Piston Cup is the ultimate prize their heroes can win.

Since my awesome hubby works right at the corner where the celebration parade will start today, he has taken Padraic on the train (no point in trying to drive into Philly today, egads) with him so he can experience the parade, too. Even though Padraic is a little young to fully understand what's going on right now, he's old enough to have this memory with him forever. I am excited thinking that he'll be telling his own grandchildren some day about how the Phils won the 2008 World Series and he was there to help them celebrate their huge accomplishment.

Maybe after today I'll finally have some pictures or video to beef up this otherwise boring, dry blog!

I might be crazy

I am normally one of those moms who thinks bedtime is sacred and would never keep her kids up to all hours of the night for something. But tonight is different. I have actually agreed to take the kids to the local hangout tonight w/a bunch of neighbors to watch Game 5 of the World Series. They are both getting their baths and wearing red pjs, and I hope they (and I) can actually make it to the end of the game.

Go Phillies!

P.S. I am such a hypocrite. I can't stand baseball normally, but tonight might be historic, and I think of it not as rooting for baseball so much as rooting for the city of Philadelphia.

A bicornuate uterus and all the fun it brings

You who are faint of heart, especially about female things, should go read something else now.

During my second pregnancy I had an ultrasound at 7 weeks. I hadn't had an ultrasound during my first pregnancy until 20 weeks, and I used the same OBGYN so I have no idea why the difference in protocol. It just happened that way. During that 7-week ultrasound (I know that sounds like the procedure lasted 7 weeks, but really that's the lingo so stay with me here), the tech said one of those cryptic things techs say and then don't explain. This one was, "Did anyone ever tell you that you might have a double lining?" Uh, no. I had no idea what she meant, and she clammed up upon further questioning (I hate that) so I did a Web search when I got home and figured she must mean I had an extra thick uterine lining. I was a little worried since it sounded like that could be a problem for the fetus, so I posted a query on my favorite parenting site, Babyzone.com. One of my message board friends asked, "Do you think she might mean you have a bicornuate uterus?"

I initially scoffed at that idea since a Google search of that term immediately showed some rather strange images of a two-chambered uterus (sort of heart-shaped, hence the name "bicornuate") and alarming statistics on difficulty conceiving, higher incidence of miscarriages, interuterine growth restriction, and even stillbirth. Zoinks. No, I told myself. I cannot possibly have that condition. After all, I carried one baby to term already and had no problem conceiving and then what was considered a low-risk pregnancy.

The next day at work my phone rang, and when I answered, my surprised-sounding OBGYN announced, "Sara, we just discovered you have a bicornuate uterus!" Oh, my. I remember breaking out into a sweat. Let me fast forward a bit: After 30 more weeks of worrying like crazy and trying not to get too attached to the baby I was carrying just in case, I had a successful second pregnancy. The only difference from the first was that instead of going into spontaneous labor at 37wks like I had with my first child, I ended up being induced at 37wks because I had been dilated to 4cm for over 3 weeks already, and I have super rapid labors. As in, from the time my OBGYN broke my water w/baby #2 to the time he appeared was less than an hour. Zoooooooom!

We're probably done having kids, but my bicornuate uterus still plays a part in my life. It turns out that since the uterus and kidneys of a female fetus form at the same time, it's possible I might also have a kidney malformation or a number of kidneys other than two. Yup, I might only have one kidney, and if I do chances are it's located in line with my spine, rather than off to one side. Weird. Now that I'm done nursing that second baby, I have been told by my doctor that I need to have an intravenous pyelogram, which means I'll be injected with an iodine-based contrast material while an x-ray tech takes pictures of how it flows through my kidney(s) and bladder. I cannot tell you how much I do not want to do this procedure, but I suppose if I have less than a normal amount of kidneys, or two kidneys that aren't both fully functioning, I should know about it to protect my future health.

If any of you have ever had an IVP or are experiencing life with a bicornuate uterus, I'm happy to hear from you. Meanwhile, I want to express that while having a bicornuate uterus can lead to a lot of misery for couples trying to conceive a child or carry a healthy one full-term, there is hope. Somehow, and I know it's the grace of God, I conceived and bore two healthy children with this thing that a friend of mine dubbed my "kooky uterus." It can happen, and I hope that medical science figures out a way to make it happen more often.

Should I be this tired?

Hey, working mommies, are you really, really tired? I mean, so tired your eyes cross during the workday? Sometimes before lunch? I have been having a lot of "Stop the world; I want to get off!" moments lately.

Having just gotten back from a work trip, I have the issue that the house is in a shambles. For those of you who've seen my house, I mean a worse shambles than usual. Yeah, that bad.

Tonight when I got home from work I had to run right out to get some stuff Ken and I need for the afternoon wedding we're going to tomorrow. Then I had to run next-door to the neighbors' house where Ken was playing horseshoes so I could take over watching my own children and serve them dinner while he played.

Then I brought Henry home and got him ready for bed while also trying to get the laundry and other accumulated detritis of our lives off the guest bed since my father-in-law will need to sleep there tomorrow night while we're at the wedding and he is on babysitting duty.

Then I cleaned the bathroom, which I don't think Ken had done in a few weeks. I mean, a touchup here and there is fine for awhile, but it's not a permanent cleaning solution, kwim?

Now I need to get Padraic ready for bed, and Ken is not back yet to help out with anything. I have a feeling the guys are watching the Rays/Sox game on the neighbors' huge-mongous plasma TV. Lucky him. I could use a hand but will look like a witch if I call over there and ask him to come home.

Did I mention I have bronchitis and a splitting headache? I really just want to crawl in bed and come out in, maybe, April. That sounds about long enough.

I have a freelance project sitting in front of me, too, but I don't have the energy to read it right now. Maybe I'll get a second wind after Padraic is in bed, who knows?

Tomorrow I am working from home until lunchtime, and then Henry and I have to do the grocery shopping and pick up Padraic at day care before 2pm, which is when Pop-pop gets here for the babysitting gig. Ken will roll in around 3pm, and once he's thrown on his tie and jacket, we will need to scoot up to the wedding, which starts at 4pm. The reception runs 7pm to midnight (God help me) so it's gonna be a late night.

Saturday morning we need to get up and eat breakfast and then get ready for the 1.5hr trek up to Ken's Great Uncle Harry's 80th b'day party. We'll go, eat lunch, and then need to scoot back home so I can get to this freelance project. It needs to be put in the mail back to the client first thing Wednesday morning.

Sunday Ken will spend all day helping a friend with a fairly sizeable home repair project. I'll need to fit some freelance project work in around naptimes and mealtimes. Padraic doesn't always nap anymore, but I can probably get him to play in his room for a while during Henry's big midday nap. Knowing how these home projects go, the 6hrs Ken has allotted for getting it done is more likely going to be 8-12hrs. Once he gets home, it's probably going to be time to get ready for the imminent Monday morning.

It's weeks like this that make me want to plan social events absolutely never. But what fun would that be? Maybe Padraic can help get me ready for bed, instead of vice versa, and then he can stay up playing on the computer. I can hardly keep my eyes Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... .........................................................................................

A Guide for Conference Attendees

I attend a fair number of conferences for my job, say, 6-8 per year. And I see the same mistakes being made by attendees every single time, no matter what the conference or location. So I've put together a handy little list of helpful hints that may never reach the people it is meant for but will sure make me feel better for having vented.

(1) Before stepping foot outside the conference center or hotel, please take off your nametag or lanyard. Hasn't anyone ever taught you that when you are in a strange city you don't want to call attention to yourself as a tourist/outsider/clueless individual? I cannot tell you how many times I have seen people walking around blocks and blocks from the conference venue in full disregard of this rule. Why not just paint a sign on your back that says "Target for pickpockets and other unsavory individuals"?

(2) Maybe this should be (1b), but leave your free conference totebag--you know, the one with the huge logo on the side that announces to the world that you are in town for a conference?--in your hotel room next to your lanyard. Besides the same flaw of calling you out as someone who doesn't know the area, carrying your conference bag just makes you look like a dork and is a useless exercise. Were you really planning on reading the program while eating dinner? How about just grabbing your handbag, or putting your wallet in your (front) pocket, and walking out to dinner or sightseeing without this useless encumbrance?

(3) Do not give a presentation in an outfit you wouldn't wear to a job interview. Birkenstocks, flip-flops (God help us), Bermuda shorts, t-shirts, and other very casual wear does not look appropriate on people who are standing at the front of a room, talking about important research they have conducted. You lose credence when you dress like you forgot about your presentation until the last second and just rushed to the meeting from the beach or your backyard hammock.

(4a) Please practice your talk before the session starts so you can figure out for yourself that a 400-slide PowerPoint presentation does not fit into a 20-minute timeslot.

(4b) When the session chair gives you the look of death and the hand signal that means, "Cut to the end now, Bub, because you are out of time," please wind up your talk in 60 seconds or less. Do not just talk faster while trying to complete slides 283-400.

(5) Do not ask vendors in the exhibit hall if all their wares are complimentary. If they were free, we couldn't afford to rent the space in the exhibit hall in the first place. Think about it.

Thank you for your time.

The best part

Ah, the business/pleasure trip to DC. We got down here later in the afternoon on Saturday than we expected, and then our parking spot in the self-park garage was so far from the lobby, which was likewise so far from our room, that it took half of forever to get our stuff to our room and head out for the zoo. Then I headed us in the wrong direction because I felt so sure I knew where we should go. There went another wasted half-hour.

Finally, we arrived at the zoo, and Padraic was so excited to see the animals. And it would've been awesome had the animals actually (a) been visible or (b) if visible been awake. Oh, well. We saw the baby giant panda flat out asleep on his back in the indoor exhibit, and then one of his parents was asleep next door. Totally cute. We saw a few other animals, but nothing too exciting since it was so late in the day.

We also, though, forgot the camera in the truck when we arrived at the hotel, and there was no way we were hiking back there to get it before heading out, so we went to the zoo without it. Ken got some cell-phone pictures of the pandas, but we'll have to see if they are clear enough to really be worth sharing.

Still, we had a good time in the hour or so we were at the zoo, and really the weekend was about family time, not just seeing animals. It was great having all of them with me for the start of this trip. It was awesome coming back to the room between meetings and having my family to enjoy time with, rather than having just an empty room (like I do now).

Sadly, this afternoon my three best guys had to head home since Ken had to get some stuff related to the new gas hookup (yes, they finally hooked us to the gas main last Monday) before the utility company comes tomorrow to connect the meter and get the gas flowing. I miss them like crazy, though the room is a lot more spacious without a rollout bed and pack-n-play. Of course, all the fun toys are gone. No Hotwheels for Mommy. Guess I'll just have to watch real TV shows. It could even have swearing in it, and no one will hear it but me! And I'll sleep in a big X in the middle of the bed.

All those benefits aside, the good news is I was supposed to be here until Wednesday evening, but instead I think I'll head home Tuesday night since I have no appointments on Wednesday after all. Might as well just get back and tuck my little guys into bed one night earlier than I thought I'd get to, right? Cuz the best part about being a traveling mommy is getting back home.

Tip #4 for working mommies

Take your family with you when you can!

I'll be the first to admit that this is seldom possible for me. We took Padraic with us when he was 7mos old and I had a conference in Minneapolis, but only because my SIL and BIL live out there. We stayed at the conference hotel, and Ken and Padraic hung out with my SIL at her house as much as possible while I was working. It turned out to be a nice trip. My MIL got the plane tickets for Ken and Padraic (yes, I always got him a seat of his own, even when he was young enough to be a lap infant), and my flight and the hotel were completely covered by my employer. So our only expenses were food and the rental car. Not too shabby.

We're once again combining family fun and a business trip of mine this upcoming weekend. I have to go to DC, which is only a 2hr drive from our home, and as luck would have it, our hotel is insanely closes to the National Zoo. As in "You're an idiot if you don't take advantage of how close this hotel is to the zoo." Which is what I said to mysellf when booking the travel and accomodations for the trip.

If everyone stays healthy (Henry had a fever yesterday and is not quite himself today), we're driving down tomorrow midmorning so we arrive around lunchtime. We'll grab a bite to eat (I already know there is a McD's between our hotel and the zoo--Padraic loves McD's and gets to eat there about 3 times/year when we're doing something special like this) and then hit the zoo after ditching the truck and our belongings at the hotel. We'll stay there for as long as the kids hold out. And us, too, since the National Zoo is, well, shall we politely say, hilly?

We'll bring our own drinks and a few snacks, but we'll willingly splurge on something like ice cream or another treat while we're hoofing it around. After all, that's what family fun time is about. A bit of a splurge. This trip is pretty low-cost, too, what with the hotel room being again taken care of by my employer, our gas for getting down there being reimbursed since, hey, I had to get down there somehow, and the zoo being free admission.

After (or maybe at?) the zoo we'll have some dinner--possibly with some relatives of mine who live in nearby Fairfax--and then we'll start the interesting task of getting two kids with different bedtimes to fall asleep in the same hotel room. Ha. My MIL recommended taking the kids to the pool before bed to wear them out, but the hotel has an outdoor pool that is closed for the season. So scrap that. Maybe we can put the kids on the treadmills in the fitness center? Ha, just kidding.

I'm glad we'll be able to work some time into my busy travel schedule to expose the boys to something they might not otherwise get to see for a little while because, while DC is not far from our home in the grand scheme of things, life hurtles by so quickly that we don't always take advantage of the great attractions that are within a day's drive of us. And I'm racking up some decent hotel points at a couple national chains by doing all this traveling for work. Trust me when I say that I am squirreling both them and my frequent flyer miles away for a nice family vacation. I'm aiming for probably the summer before Padraic starts kindergarten, at which point we should be able to do a nice 4-night (or so) stay at a hotel in the city of our choosing, without dropping a dime on accomodations or travel. The biggest problem will be deciding where to go! And what to eat when we get there. Yum!

So the next time work sends you off to God-knows-where, take a minute to consider whether some or all of your family members could join you for part or all of your trip. It can make traveling more enjoyable for you, and it can give your loved ones an opportunity to experience a new town on the (relatively) cheap. Happy travels!

Tip #3: This one's for the traveling mommies

I used to travel once or twice a year for work for about 4-7 days at a time. Not so bad in the grand scheme of a 52-week, 365.25-day year. But my job has changed over time, and now I travel to conferences about 6-8 times per year for 4-6 days at a time, and then I do a bunch of little one- and two-day trips sprinkled throughout the intervening weeks. This tends to wear on this working mommy, her little ones, and her hubby.

One of the things that saddens me most about being away is missing the bedtime routine. Yes, when I'm at home I often think it's a pain, but when I'm away on my own I suddenly become sentimental about it. I realized rather quickly on my trips that logistically there was no way I could help with bathtime while I was sitting in a hotel hundreds or thousands of miles away, so that was out. I couldn't do the changing of the boys into their jammies or the tucking in. Sigh. So those tasks were out. But wait! What I could do was read them a bedtime story! I mean, what are all those minutes on my cell phone for, anyway, if not to connect me to the people I love?

After this realization, the next time I had a business trip I snagged 2-3 slim children's books that my older son was known to enjoy, and I tucked them into my suitcase. That first night I was away, I called around bedtime (this can be challenging if you are in another time zone, but if you aren't available at the real bedtime, hey, you can always just read a story by phone during another part of the day) and read one of the stories to him (his baby brother was already in bed). Now, admittedly, he has not always wanted me to read him a bedtime story when I call, but it's the attempt that makes me feel better. While I'd love for him to let me read to him each and every time, knowing that I tried to be part of bedtime assuages a part of the guilt that I carry with me whenever I leave the house. And it lets me know that he's OK without Mommy, at least for a little while.

If your little one might enjoy hearing your voice reading a favorite tale while you are physically unable to participate in the bedtime rituals, you can either handcarry the actual book with you (this works even better if you have more than one copy so the little one and Daddy or another caregiver can look at their copy while you read from yours) or type the story into a Word document before your trip and read it to your cherished one from the glowing screen of your laptop. Not as nice for you as if you had a real book in your hands, but hey, you're a grownup and can handle reading a story without pictures. ;)

Next time you have to be away from your child(ren), consider giving this concept a try. You might find that when sharing a little piece of your child's day through the magic of technology, that hotel room you're staying in doesn't feel quite as far from home after all.

Tip #2 for working moms

Before I start tip #2 for working moms, let me be clear: These are going to be suggestions to do fairly obvious things. But when you're really sleep deprived and are juggling two full-time jobs--parenting and earning a paycheck--the obvious can rush right past you without you noticing more than a rush of wind.

If you have an infant, you can try putting him or her into tomorrow's clothes tonight so you just have to change a dipe in the morning, not start from scratch with a complete clothing change. If, in the worst-case scenario, there has been a diaper leakage or blowout, you do have to start from scratch. But if there hasn't been, you just saved yourself a few minutes, and your bambino is still comfy in his or her already-warmed outfit.

I've heard of people trying this with older children, and if it works, good for them. I just think babies are ideal candidates since they don't look like a slouch lying around all day in a footie sleeper that's equally comfortable to sleep in at night. I'd be hesitant to put my almost-4-year-old son into his daytime clothes at night because jeans or slacks and a t-shirt are not totally snooze-inducing. I don't wanna make one of my kids uncomfortable just to shave a little time and stress off our nutso mornings. Which, by the way, start at 5am. And that should be illegal.

Tip #1 for working mothers (and mothers-to-be)

OK, when I started this blog I did mean to offer up some tips to other working moms, based on my experiences (note I didn't say "successes") as a full-time working/ part-time business-traveling mom. Here is the number one tip I can offer to you:

When someone suggests you stock up on sleep either before baby comes or while the grandparents are borrowing your child, smile and nod. Then move on because there is no physical way to stock up on sleep. You could sleep from now until next Thursday, and then your child could keep you up all night for exactly one night, and you'd still feel like crap and like you hadn't slept in a year.

So here's what you do instead: Stock up on paid time off so you can call in "sick" one day when your child has day care, and then you can crawl your tired behind back into bed and get some uninterrupted sleep. Oh, don't forget to keep your cell phone nearby for emergencies but to turn off the ringer on your home phone (assuming that yours is like my household and many others in that if the landline rings, you automatically know it's someone who doesn't know you).

For those of you who crave time with your day-care bound child(ren) more than you crave sleep (God bless you!) the same "sick" day can instead be used for a day full of time enjoying your children. I have done this in the past, too, and it can be a lot of fun. Or it can be really exhausting, leading me to wish I had enacted part A of this tip instead.

Happy working/parenting!

A last goodbye

Dear all, my friend's niece Peyton will be buried today, and while I believe that the services will be some consolation to her parents and other loved ones, it's sure to be a difficult day as well. If you are so inclined, please pause for a moment to think of them and wish for them the strength that they will need to get through this day and the many long days to follow now that they are without Peyton. Thank you.

The frivelous post

I need to post about something fairly meaningless today. So here goes....

Over the past 2-3 years I have noticed a disturbing trend in my neighborhood: People are full-on decorating their houses for Halloween! Now don't get me wrong, I love trick-or-treating and all that jazz, but 3 immediate neighbors of mine have gone through the trouble of lining their homes' profiles with orange lights and then putting giant inflatables on their front lawns. The inflatables I can wrap my mind around pretty well, but lights, people?! Lights?! For Halloween?! Am I making my disbelief clear?

How do these people find the time and inclination to put this much effort into what is a fun, but minor, holiday? And yes, what ticks me off the most is that it makes my house look like a dark piece of crap. The only Halloween decorations we have up so far are some real-life cobwebs in the shrubs out front. Thank goodness for Mother Nature or we'd fall even further behind the Joneses.

Gotta go. I'm off to find some yard decorations for Columbus Day. Ha.

A million tears

I cannot sleep tonight. My two boys are tucked into their beds...OK, well, Padraic is tucked into my bed, but regardless, they are here, they are safe, they are sleeping. But my friend Kate's family is in turmoil tonight because they just lost her sister's not-quite-4-week-old daughter, Peyton, to leukemia. It feels so selfish that it's hitting me so hard. I am trying to mentally sort out whether I am feeling all this pain for their sakes, or for mine. I think it's impossible to separate the two.

There is pain because an innocent child has died. There is pain because I know her parents must be going through hell. There is pain because I worry that I could lose one of my children simply by a bad twist of fate. And that is the selfish part. That I am thinking about my own situation as a mother and how I would handle such overwhelming grief. I don't know that I could, to be honest. I pray for them that they have more strength than I think I would have.

There is anger because life shouldn't be this way. I know God has a plan for us all and that we aren't supposed to understand every nuance of life, but I am having trouble digesting the idea that a child could come into this world, suffer from a medical condition and its attendant treatments from the first moments, and then die so young. I have a brain that thrives on logic, and it is asking, What was the point? Why make a baby and so many other people suffer like this? Why? What did it accomplish, other than extreme sadness, a permanent grief?

There is relief that the physical suffering of a little baby is over, although I'd prayed with all my might that her suffering would end with a cure, not her death.

And so, I can't sleep.